Posts Tagged ‘Ryan Campbell’

Ryan is one of my coworkers, and as we started digging into his past we came across a lot of unusual facts.  For your reading pleasure, here is the first collection of said facts.  You might want to sit down.

 

  1. He is a long distance runner.
  2. He is trained in many styles of MMA fighting. And has never lost a fight.
  3. He once worked as an alligator wrestler in Australia.
  4. He once karate chopped a person in half, just to see if there was candy inside.
  5. I have seen him eat rocks for protein.
  6. He once head butted George Washington’s corpse.
  7. He licked a High Voltage tower because he was too cheap to get a perm. (dont ask why he wanted a perm)
  8. He was the inspiration for the James Bond movies.
  9. He once was a body double for Steve Seagal. (in his good movies, not the bad ones)
  10. He has been to top of Mount Everest and pee’d off the side.
  11. He was the original designer of the Eiffel Tower.
  12. He started Pokemon fad and ended it.
  13. He wrote 3 chapters of the bible, before it got popular.
  14. He is part wookie.
  15. The boogey man checks under his bed for Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris checks for Ryan Campbell
  16. Once wrestled a Narwhal on a dare, and now wears just the horn at midnight every third Tuesday of the month.
  17. Invented the internets v 2.0, it’s exclusive, wait for your invite.
  18. Lassoed the moon and pulled it closer just so he could see the whites of a man’s eyes…then beat him to death with his own boot.
  19. He can control the weather, but doesn’t do so because he likes to be surprised.
  20. He once ate an entire deep fried horse in one sitting.
  21. Ryan doesn’t have actually have blood, just a concentrated form of awesome running through his veins.
  22. Dr Phil goes to Ryan Campbell for advice.
  23. Is capable of pronouncing *#*!sl7&
  24. Used to have 13 fingers, the extras were bit off by a rabid wombat.
  25. Once spent a month at a Shaolin monastery just to learn to keep his toe nails from growing.
  26. The lord of the rings is based on a trip Ryan once took to the grocery store.
  27. Is the Batman
  28. Is the reason that the dinosaurs died.
  29. Taught Gandhi how to keep his calm.
  30. He built Rome in a day.
  31. ‘The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow’ is a parody of one of Ryan’s classics.
  32. Before the big bang there was Ryan Campbell.
  33. Once wrestled a sea monkey, just to take its cashew
  34. Ryan invented folk music.

You can’t stop the epic.